


Dodgeball is Good For Repressed Emotions

by Merkey666



Series: High School Au [5]
Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Dodgeball??, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Sexuality Crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 13:26:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11037102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merkey666/pseuds/Merkey666
Summary: The end of the year dodgeball tournament is upon them, and in the midst of Lindsey's very, very bad idea, a new friendship is formed. Beating the shit out of each other in gym is a good way to deal with a crisis.





	Dodgeball is Good For Repressed Emotions

**Author's Note:**

> This was written because I got into a new ship that is, admittedly, terrible. I hope you don't find it awful. Thanks!
> 
> (Oh, and for the record, the test is a real thing. Here's the link: https://bdsmtest.org )

"Alright kids. You get to pick your teams for the game. Chose wisely," she said sternly. It was a big commitment to be part of the team. The only difference between this game and all the other games played throughout the year, was that this one was not separated by class- it was the whole grade. Obviously, there would have to be teams, since the whole grade could not play each other. Lindsey had been waiting the whole year for this opportunity, the chance for her to display her wonderful strategy. She bounded to the lunch room, skipping with her pig tails swooping in the odd cafeteria breeze. 

She slammed her lunch down, and a few people out of the way. She was talking before her butt hit the seat. 

"Hey guys!!" People muttered to her quietly, poking at soggy lettuce or oddly heated leftovers lamely. "So, as you know, the game is today and we need to pick teams. I had this idea-"

"Oh God," Brendon murmured. She shot a glare at him while she went on. 

"And since almost all of you guys are gay or some form of gay-"

"Oh _no_ ," Patrick whispered, staring pointedly at the table in front of him. Lindsey smirked internally. 

"And if you're not, there's a test you can take to figure out, so my plan is fool proof basically-"

"For fucks sake, just tell us your t-"

"Subs versus doms," she finally finished. Silence shook the table as they stared at her in hatred and disbelief. 

"I'm in," Brendon affirmed. Ryan whacked him on the shoulder. 

"Isn't this an invasion of privacy?" he asked angrily. Lindsey shrugged. 

"If you don't want to announce it then don't play." Ryan groaned. He didn't need people giving him weird looks after the cat got out of the bag, and he also didn't want to hear any unpleasant surprises. He really just didn't want to know. He had a don't ask, don't tell relationship with most of his friends. 

"You said there's a... Test? Why should we believe this test?" Jon asked quietly from his corner of the table. Patrick stared at him with a mixture of disbelief an disappointment on his face. Patricks unwillingness was understandable to Lindsey, since he was supposedly straight. She had her doubts. 

"Oh, you'll believe it once you see it. For all of you that are straight-" she eyed Patrick. "-Or claim to be straight, take the test as soon as possible. Tell me quickly so I can plot out the teams."

"What if you're-hypothetically-a switch?" asked Dallon quietly, from the far end of the table. Brendon nearly spat out his food, and the entire table looked _alive_. Dallon was baby faced, and many felt the urge to scold him for such inappropriate questions. 

Lindsey thought for a moment. "If you're a switch, then you'll go on whatever side has less players. See? This plan works for everyone," she smiled proudly. Patrick put his face down and yearned to be in some desolate corner of the school, or maybe even his house. Pete clapped his hands together and rubbed them evilly. 

"I'm so ready for this," he murmured, turning to Mikey. "Get ready to get your ass BEAT!" Mikey raised an eyebrow. 

"Oh yeah? In what way?" Mikey replied cockily. Spencer pulled out his air horn and beeped it once at Mikey. 

"INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR!" The entire table flinched. There was much needed quiet after that, resulting in many thinking over their not so glorious options. Ryan still _really_ did not want to admit to anything, and Patrick was ready to crawl up into a small hole and die. Lindsey couldn't get why the test would bother him so much, unless maybe he thought it would unearth something. She made a plan to call him after school to clarify that if he was really that uncomfortable, she could work something out. For the time being, she watched him suffer, something she didn't think herself above enjoying. 

"Alright," she said, calling the table to attention. Lunch was soon to end. "If it's possible, and I know it is because you kids NEVER are off the internet for more than an hour unless unconscious, please take the test today. I need your results as soon as tomorrow so I can start planning the teams." Just like that, the bell rang. She picked up her bag and hopped off, relishing in the commotion shed created. She loved to destroy. 

~

To say the least, lunch the next day was eventful. She greeted Patrick with a kind hand on the back and a small smile, as she took her place near the end. No one said anything as she stood. 

"Alright," she clapped her hands together. Patrick fucking winced. That didn't go unnoticed by Lindsey. "Everyone who needed to take the test have their results? I sure hope you do. Alright, so here's how we're going to do this, to avoid breach of privacy. Everyone put their name and their... Position on a small piece of paper, and put it in the hat. You can fold it out, write in pencil, whatever you want. I'll draw it out of a hat and write it down on my phone, which, by the way, has to ten digit pass codes. That's right. Two. I'm here to remind you that I am the only one who will see this, and I will not judge you for it. It's a simple thing, no one will care. Okay, so. Let the secret Santa of sex begin!" Lindsey pulled out a top hat from God knows where and set it on the table. 

People slowly pulled out papers and, indeed, pencils, aside from Brendon who already had his note and was practically bubbling with excitement. Ryan didn't get it. 

"Hey, Lindsey, you're going to so much trouble to make this secretive, yet when we are on teams, everyone is gonna know. So what's the point?" Frank asked. 

"Frank will you please shut the fuck up for once in your life?" Lindsey snapped. Frank shut the fuck up. Gerard smirked under his breath. As much as he loved Frank, it always amused him to watch Frank get his ass beat. 

"Oh God," Gerard whispered. 

Lindsey rolled her eyes. "What?" she barked. 

"Me and Mikey... we're bothers. That's not something I want to know. That's... No. That's just no." Without missing a beat, Mikey spoke up incredulously. 

"Gerard, shut up. I've walked in on you more fucking times than I'd like to have, which is none, and let's be clear here. There is not a single person here who thinks you top. And me? You already know, so stop pitching a fit." Gerard crossed his arms and sighed. 

"Whatever."

"...Okay..." Lindsey whispered. "Let's get going, shall we?" 

Lindsey set the hat in the middle of the table and watched as Brendon slam dunked his paper into the hat, and how some others were... Not so enthusiastic. Patrick was being particularly stubborn. Lindsey should've expected that after what he'd said to her the previous night. 

"It's okay," Ryan said solely to Patrick. "I don't want to do it either." 

"Ryan that card better say switch, or so help me God," Pete squawked. Ryan turned to him and smirked apathetically. 

"You would know!" he said in mock cheerfulness. Frank intentionally cleared his throat. When no one said anything, he cleared his throat again, louder. 

"YES, WE GET IT, YOU THINK PETE AND I FUCKED!" Ryan screeched at him. Frank nearly fell off the bench. Ryan slunk back to Brendon and wrapped an arm around his shoulder protectively. Brendon kissed Ryan on the cheek, keeping gnarly eye contact with Frank. 

Meanwhile, Pete put a hand on his shoulder for motivation, or perhaps mockery. "C'mon, Patty!" Patrick hated that nickname. "Do it for me! C'mon, it'll be fine. I look forward to playing against you," Pete smirked. 

"BRINGING UP MY VERY IMPORTANT BELIEF IN PETERICK," Brendon screeched from his end of the table. Ryan didn't appreciate the sudden loud noise that was his boyfriend in his ear. He withdrew his arm and scooted away. 

Pete rolled his eyes viciously. "Oh my GOD! For the last time, Patrick and I never did anything, nor will we ever. We are friends! How long will it take you all to get that?" Pete hollered. Brendon, with his hand on his heart, began to fake cry. 

He looked up and reached for the ceiling with his free hand, still blubbering like an idiot. "As long as it takes," he "sobbed". Pete looked ready to physically fight him. 

"Hey, wait!" Spencer said before anyone could get another word in. Especially Pete. "On the subject of Patrick, does anyone else recall a Gee/Patrick thing a while back? It was like... Freshman year and they were always with each other? I vaguely remember this for some reason."

"Yeah!" Jon yelped. "We called it, like, the homosexual uprising of East High, or something! Right?" Murmurs of agreement wafted throughout the crowd. Lindsey watched Patrick very closely through all of this, waiting to see when enough was enough. Patrick shot a quick look at Gerard, who he then noticed had also been staring back at him, and then they both looked away very quickly. Lindsey put two and two together and decided it was her turn to speak. 

"Okay! Enough bullying your friends! Patrick, put it in if you want, or don't. I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to do," Lindsey said kindly. Patrick smiled weakly at her. 

"Thanks, but it's not a big deal." Liar. Patrick put his paper in the hat and passed it on to the next person. Lindsey was secretly proud of him. 

~

As Lindsey compiled her new information on her friends on her computer, just in case, she learned some things. As she sat alone in her room, her guilt began to weigh down on her. It became so antagonising that she gave up completely and called Patrick on the phone. Her father wasn't particularly pleased to open the door half an hour later to a boy, but allowed Patrick entry regardless. 

"Your dad looks like a body guard," Patrick observed at he sat down on the floor next to Lindsey. She nodded in agreement. 

"Yeah. He might try to interrogate you. Who knows? Maybe he'll skin you!" she joked. 

"I see where you get it from. Whatcha doing?" he asked, looking down over the mess. He soon realised what he was looking at and shot back. 

"Woah, you said you needed help for a school project! I can't look at this! It's a total invasion of privacy!" he yelped, scooting back. 

"Relax. You seemed so uptight that I figured you had the right to know. Plus, the only person who really cares is Ryan, and I can hide his slip if it soothes your conscious."

"Who are you to decide that seeing this is my right?" Patrick hissed. "But if you do hide his card from me, hide Brendon's too. That'll give it away." Lindsey smiled over at him, and tossed him the hat. 

Patrick enjoying creeping on his friends, due to their usual fondness for doing the same to him. It was finally his time to reciprocate. 

"I knew it! I called it! I always knew Hayley was a sub," Patrick hurrahed. 

"It was obvious, Trick. Brendon just had to go be fancy and do his, "it's all a front" show for the group."

"It's a neat cover up," Patrick replied, mainly to himself. He buried his nose back in the hat. 

"Woah, this is funky," Patrick said, about five minutes later. Lindsey looked over from her computer where she was keeping track of the teams. 

"Hm?"

"Okay so Spencer's a Dom, everyone knew that, but Dallon's a switch. It's possible he just knows what he likes or..."

"Oh my God I didn't even realise that! How could I be so stupid?" Lindsey yelped. Patrick went quiet for a second. 

"...You don't think..." Patrick trailed off. Lindsey looked at him, and he witnessed the smile drop off her face. 

"Oh, fuck," she hissed. "You're not thinking Brendon, are you?" Patrick scrambled for his card. Sure enough...

"He's a sub! Holy shit!" Patrick clapped a hand to his mouth in disbelief. 

"Okay, okay, calm down. We have no solid proof, so we have to keep this to ourselves for now. Got it? Dropping hints is one thing, but just... Trap shut, okay?" Lindsey remarked. Patrick nodded. He liked knowing the secrets. Lindsey nodded in confirmation and slid back to her computer, still giggling at their discovery. Patrick went quiet as he continued to read the slips of paper, but he had a weight to get off of his chest. 

"Hey, Lindsey?" he asked, after only a few minutes in the silence. She turned, scooting over. 

"Got another conspiracy theory?" she joked. Patrick laughed and shook his head. 

"No, I just wanted to say... Thank you. My "friends" we're really laying it on thick during lunch, so thanks for saving my ass. I don't think they're even ready for the story yet." Lindsey smiled appreciatively. 

"Definitely not ready for the story. Maybe tell it at Senior graduation. Brendon would shit himself." Patrick burst out laughing at the thought. 

"Brendon would shit himself? Imagine Pete! Fuck, or FRANK! HE’D TRY AND KILL ME!" Both doubled over laughing, rolling around in the pieces of paper and making a mess of everything. When at last they stopped, still breathing heavily on the floor, their area was in shambles. 

"I can't believe you made me take that test. Some of the questions were so gross. Age-play? Nasty," Patrick grumbled. 

"Hey, don't yuck anyone's yum!" shouted Lindsey. Patrick giggled helplessly. 

"I'd pay good money to see people's results, even if that sounds totally weird," Patrick mumbled. 

"Me too," Lindsey admitted. "I bet you Pete screen shotted his results."

"I bet I could get them for you." 

"I bet you could." Lindsey and Patrick stared at each other. 

"This is the beginning of a dangerous friendship, Lindsey." 

"No one ever suspects Captain America to work for Hydra," Lindsey countered. A split second later, both were rolling around again, laughing their asses off. 

"This better stop," Patrick laughed. "Or else I might get abs!"

"I want to rip my cheeks off!" Lindsey howled with laughter. After a long, long while, both settled back down and Patrick returned to his papers gleefully. When he went through all of them, he stretched his arms and checked his watch. It had been a productive evening. 

"Shit! I gotta get going or else I'll miss my curfew!" He stood up quickly and nearly fell right back down. He steadied himself and picked up his things. Lindsey waved to him as she continued to type. Patrick bolted to the door, but paused. 

"I'm not sure it's a great idea to have Mikey and Gerard on the same team," he added. Lindsey scoffed. 

"Well that's fine, since they're not on the same team." Patrick smirked. 

"Check again!" He turned on his heel and walked out. He was almost down the stairs when he heard a very distinctive sound. 

"HOLY SHIT!" 

Patrick waved goodbye and thanked Lindsey's very scary father for having him over, and stepped into the cold night air. He stretched on the sidewalk, taking in a deep breath. It felt so good to know things. 

"I guess it runs in the family," a voice muttered. Patrick jumped and looked all around nervously. He looked up, only to see Lindsey sitting on her window sill cheekily. 

"I guess it does!" Patrick exclaimed. Lindsey smiled at him and waved again. 

"Night."

"Night!"

~

"Alrighty, kiddos! Who's ready for a fun time?" Lindsey asked, swooping down upon the helpless table. A few people rolled their eyes, but mainly people just shut up. 

"Do you have the teams?" Meagan asked. Lindsey put her hands on her hips. 

"No, I'm here to lecture you on the importance of industrial elevators-YES I HAVE THE TEAMS!" Meagan raised her arms in surrender. 

"Alright, I won't read it aloud, because I feel like we have some snoopers today, so I'll pass it around unless anyone has a better idea." Lindsey put on her teacher voice. "Remember, kids. No whooping or making strange noises. I'm not your preschool teacher, so don't act like juveniles. Especially you, Pete." Pete looked up from his lunch, a pea in his nose. 

"Fuck you, I'm mature!" Mikey put his face in his hands and sighed. Lindsey handed the paper with the teams off, their opposite direction of Pete. 

"Please refrain from reading names of- oh fuck if. No one's gonna listen anyway." Lindsey plopped her ass down and watched the list go around. Some people were more expressive than others, and some just found their name and went on. It wasn't that hard to do, assuming you were put on the team you said you belonged in. The only people who really had business reading through the whole thing, trying to find their names were the switches, and there weren't many. 

When the list finally returned to Lindsey, it was crumpled and, although it was just a paper, looked rather defeated. As did much of the group. 

"I feel so informed," Pete whispered. The strangest thing for Lindsey was definitely how everyone refused to look anyone else in the eyes. She didn't really get what was so bad about it, but it was sure funny as hell to her and Patrick. 

That lunch period was easily the quietest one in all of Lindsey's three years at East High. 

Patrick caught up to her once the bell rang. It was comical how fast people cleared out. 

"Did you see what I saw?" Patrick asked giddily. 

"What? What happened?" 

"When Brendon read the list he totally looked at Dallon!" Patrick exclaimed. 

"Bullshit!" Lindsey responded. 

"No, seriously!" 

"We all got some looks," Lindsey mumbled, smiling as she and Patrick walked to class together. 

"Yeah, me especially. Oh, well. What's done is done. What team are you on?" Patrick asked. Lindsey sent him a glare. 

"Right. Dom. How could I forget." Patrick paused. "Are you ready for Friday?"

"No."

"Good. Me neither."

~

The day came. Friday. Everyone in the entire grade was split up into fourteen teams, and sitting in groups on the gym floor. 

"Alright you murderous youth!" Ms. Borin hollered. "Are you all ready!"

"No!" everyone chorused. 

"Fantastic! Rules first, here we go! Head shots count because you're not babies anymore, I hope. You can't hoard the balls, so only one in your hands at a time! Any physical assault before, during, or after will result in a call to your parents, or the police. It's just like always, folks, only with red rubber balls and integrity! If you're out, you're out! For all of you weenies who've never played before, it's called dodgeball because you _dodge the ball_. Or, you're supposed to. Team captains, say aye!"

"Aye!" Chorused fourteen tired children, Lindsey and Brendon included. 

"Good! Alright, let's see. Please stand in front of your team, and remember, you may not get to play against your friends right away, so just be patient here. Okay, so Lindsey your team will go up against... Rebecca! Brendon you take your pals and battle Justin's team." Ms. Borin went on, assigning teams to other teams, but neither Lindsey nor Brendon heard. Despite being assigned to other teams, they stared each other down, waiting for the final game. Ms. Borin was a poetic little shit, even if she denied it, and knew that Lindsey and Brendon would eventually be pitted against each other. She just made it so that the last game would be theirs to share. How cinematic of her, Lindsey thought dramatically. 

~

Breathing heavily and drenched in sweat, Lindsey and Patrick sat by the water fountain. They'd had their turns and now they sat on the floor, trying to catch their breath. It wasn't working. 

"Ready?" Lindsey asked. Talking was a lot to expect from someone who couldn't breathe. 

"No," Patrick said. 

"Good. Me neither." The two shared a look that would've divulged into laughter if it had not been for two things. One, neither could breathe, which was a issue, and two Brendon and Gerard walked over. Lindsey and Patrick both tightened up, for different reasons. Brendon held out a hand to help Lindsey up. She glared at him, untrusting. He smiled sincerely and Lindsey caved. She grabbed his hand and pulled herself up. Gerard helped Patrick up, which Lindsey tried her best not to watch. 

The four walked back into the gym, where both teams were waiting with equal impatience. Ms. Borin just so happened to appear, hoisting them away from any smack talk and pulling them over to their court. 

"Okey Dokie! Let's just make sure you have equal members before we begin. I know how close you all are, so I'm prepared for this to be the game of the century. Same rules apply, sadly. Here we go. On Lindsey's team we have: Ballato, Dun-" 

"Where's Meagan?" Frank asked. 

"Bathroom. She'll be back in a moment," Lindsey replied. Ms. Borin nodded. 

"Iero, Ross, Smith, Stump, and Wentz. Is that correct?" Ms. Borin asked. Lindsey looked around like a preschool teacher doing a head count. She felt like a preschool teacher at that point. She was exhausted. 

"Sounds good," she sighed, watching Meagan jog over. Ms. Borin turned to the other team and began to rattle out their names as well. She may as well have been reading from The List. 

"And over here we have Joseph, Toro, Walker, thing one and thing two- Hold on. Mikey, aren't you a little young to be in the eleventh grade?" Mikey blushed bright red and began to stutter out his answer.

"I skipped a few grades when I was little. I wasn't a genius or anything, I just had Gee teaching me. We played school a lot." Mikey would've asked why this was only now occurring to her, since he'd been there all day, but being put on the spot took that energy out of him. And the fact that he lied. 

"I'm impressed, Way. Keep up the good work."

"What good work?" Mikey mumbled, thinking back to his F's. And how he was actually a sophomore. 

"Alright, anyway. Weekes, Williams, and Urie. Is that correct, Brendon?" Ms. Borin questioned. Brendon nodded tiredly. 

"Fabulous. Get on the court when you're ready. Play fair and square, got it?" she instructed. Everyone nodded compliantly. She smiled and walked off, ready to get some other kids ready to beat the shit out of each other. Lindsey wondered if she'd done a head count for everyone else. Probably not. The teachers were paranoid of them. 

Lindsey and Brendon turned to face each other, their teams creating a mass behind each of them.

"I have a proposition," said Brendon. Lindsey raised her eyebrows. 

"I didn't know you even knew the word!" she replied haughtily. Brendon scowled at her darkly. The sweat really brought out the bags under his eyes. Or maybe that was smeared eyeliner. She couldn't be sure. 

"Loser has to buy the winners pizza."

"High stakes, Brendon. I like it," Lindsey replied. 

"Ah, you know me. All about the drama." Gerard rolled his eyes. 

Lindsey considered her options, and, being the confident girl she was, decided it wasn't the worst thing he could've demanded. Lindsey held out her hand. 

"May the best team win," she said firmly, the adrenaline of the oncoming game pumping her up. She was wondering when her energy would return. The spark in Brendon's eyes glowed like a fire, and his sneer matched. They shook on it. 

"I guess we'll see who comes out on top," Brendon growled playfully. Lindsey was _this_ close to smacking him. She had no energy left for puns. 

"BITCH-" Ryan shouted from Lindsey's side. Apparently he felt the same. Brendon's smirk transformed into a smile and he walked off towards the courts, his team following him closely. Lindsey pressed her back to the cold wall, watching closely as Brendon spoke over his shoulder to his team. Lindsey had already given so many pep talks that day, she would rather die than give another one. 

Ms. Borin waltzed over, a cart full of dodgeballs behind her. She tossed five to each side and took a large step back. Lindsey hadn't thought about it before, but by splitting each and every couple up, she had created the sexual tension bomb of the century. Brendon dribbled the ball a few times and winked at Ryan. Lindsey felt ill. 

"Ready?" Ms. Borin shouted. Lindsey began to notice that Ms. Borin wasn't the only one watching. Some students had wandered over, sweaty and bored. She could name a few, and humiliating Brendon and his team could be the way to raise her ranks again. She focused her energy back on the game, just in time to hear Ms. Borin shout-

"GO!"

***

Lindsey wasn't sure whether they were winning or losing, all she knew was that there were balls flying at her violently and all she could do about it was make innuendos. She hurled a ball at Brendon, who moved at the very last second and smirked at her. In her fit to find another ball, she raced past Pete. 

"HE PARRIES TO THE LEFT, YOU CATCH HIM IN THE NECK, YOU'RE CHOPPING OFF HIS HEAD NOW!" he shrieked. 

"THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR SHIA LABEOUF!" she hollered back. Pete choked on his laugh, probably not realizing anyone had heard him in the first place. He tossed her a ball, and by taking his eyes off his target, albeit for less than a second, he was met with a ball in the chest. 

"YOU JUST GOT SHREKED!" Brendon screeched. His victory was short lived, as when Lindsey saw Pete go down, she hurled her ball as hard as she could at Brendon. Who she caught in the face. 

It was after that pivotal moment that Lindsey crossed the border from confident to cocky. That ego was what cost her the game. 

~

Sweaty, beaten up, and exhausted, both teams walked out of gym miserable. There were no words said as they two teams wandered the halls, waiting for the bell to ring. Up until it did, they were all late for class, and any leftover care disappeared from their bodies. Lindsey sighed disappointedly. 

"Alright. Fair's fair. Pizza?" she asked. 

"W-We've got class," Brendon stuttered. She sighed again, yet more disappointed in him. They had- what? Five weeks of school left? 

"Do you want me to buy you pizza or not, Brendon? If you want it, we're getting it now because I need calories that aren't a week old. And I need them now. You will not like me nearly as much when I'm hungry as you do now."

"I don't like you any of the time."

"Yeah, well, I'm not the only one unliked. Don't forget about the half of the school you've slept with. They can't be too thrilled to see you strutting around," Lindsey countered. The two stared at each other for a second, sizing each other up. Then Brendon cracked a smile and draped his arm around her, leading the confused clump of friends down the hallway. 

"Do you-" Ryan asked Patrick. 

"Nope."

~

"Thanks for letting us eat the pizza, B," Lindsey said, her mouth full of scaldingly hot pizza. 

"Hey, you bought it. Have as much as you want, as long as it's free on my end!" The group went silent again as they ate. Some of the color returned to Lindsey's face as her energy level went up, but Brendon had enough color on his. The purple bruise matched his attire nicely.

Lindsey elbowed Patrick lightly, who was staring wistfully into his food. He looked over at her and smiled sweetly, the way only he could after getting the shit knocked out of him. 

"Wasn't so bad, was it?" Lindsey whispered to him. He shrugged back, picking a piece of pepperoni off of his pizza. 

"I guess we'll see. Monday will be the decider, if that makes any sense," he mumbled, wordless. 

"It makes sense, although I think there was a grammatical error or two. Not that I would know. Plus, if anyone gives you crap, which they won't, come to me. I'll give them something to talk about- to the nurse." Patrick cracked a smile at her, a good one, where his bruises almost melted into the smile lines around his eyes. She put her head on his shoulder, which was probably just as gross for the both of them. 

"You two would be adorable together," Pete muttered. That was probably the only time Lindsey had seen Pete on the down-low. His arms were on the table and his head was on his arms, and he looked genuinely tired. Both Patrick ad Lindsey laughed at his remark. 

"You wish, Pete," Lindsey snapped. 

"No, he wouldn't. Cause he'd be jealous of you, cause... Cause Peterick, right?" Brendon mumbled. Patrick shook his head and looked away, too exhausted to try and argue with him. Not like it would've made a difference if he had. 

Lindsey looked at Patrick and smiled. A good thing had come from one little phone call. She imagined things would've gone a lot differently if she'd never called. This was good, she told herself, as she picked up a third slice of pizza from the dish in the center of the table. 

~Flashback to the first night~

"Patrick?" Lindsey asked. She hadn't a clue whether it was the right number, being that Pete gave it to her. 

"Yeah? Who's this?" he asked. Lindsey did a little jump before answering. 

"Hi! It's Lindsey, from school." There was a second of silence over the line, like Patrick was trying desperately to remember who that was. He gasped over the phone. 

"Oh! Hey, there. What's up?" Lindsey took a deep breath that she hoped didn't carry over the line, and straightened up. 

"Hey, we need to talk. I know that sounds ominous, but it's really not. I would do it over the phone, but my dad needs the landline and I lost my phone. Any chance you could meet me somewhere? The park?" Almost all of that was a lie, but she needed to give him _something_ to make him believe her. Patrick didn't respond at first, and nail biting silence followed. 

"I have a curfew soon, so um, it would have to be quick. I wouldn't call it a park, but there’s a green space by my house we could go to, if that works for you," he replied uneasily. It pained Lindsey to have to corner him like that, but there wasn't another way. She was the mother of secret keeping, and she had to know his. She knew there was one. So what was it?

"Yeah, that works! What are the cross streets?" Deep down, her concern was there, but her need for information was stronger. 

Not ten minutes later, she jogged over to a nervous looking man sitting on a bench in the very same park. Patrick was right. It really was too small to be called a park. 

"This place is made out of 90% dog piss," she said as she sat down next to him. He jumped a little, since she came from behind, but stiffened when he recognized her. 

"Yeah. I like it anyway... What did you want to talk about?" he asked sheepishly. Lindsey laced her twitching fingers on her lap. 

"It's about the dodgeball game. I get that you're torn over something, and I want to know what. I know, I know. That sounds like it's none of my business, but here's the thing. I know everyone's business. And I don't tell secrets. So whatever it is, whatever you're struggling with, you can tell me. I don't judge, I don't tell, none of that. I'm here to listen and provide questionable advice. You don't know me very well, and vise versa, but I feel like you're the kind of person I need around me more often. There's plenty of Brendon's in the world-"

"It was a crush," Patrick interrupted. Lindsey didn't expect a confession so early on, but she stopped her speech anyway. "But I can't tell you more. People are already saying shit and I can't have any more of that. I'm sorry, you seem very nice and I appreciate what you're trying to do, even if it is only for your game, but-"

"Was it Pete?"

"WHAT THE FUCK? God, no. Don't tell me you're one of them too, I can't have more people fetishizing me and my best friend," Patrick yelped, jumping to his feet. Lindsey raised her hands in surrender. 

"Sorry, you never know. I've heard some shit." Patrick went quiet and sat back down. 

"I bet." He bit his lip as he trailed off, staring at the ivy on the ground. 

"Could you tell me any of it? Like, an example?" Lindsey pursed her lips sympathetically. 

"Sorry, but that would be a breach of my policies. I listen and try to help and in return I get to know everything. It's simple."

"Genius."

The both of them waited for the other to say anything, and in the silence, a bond was formed. Patrick opened his mouth, but said nothing, and by the look in his eyes, Lindsey guessed he was working out how to say it. 

"Okay," he said. She was right. "You can't tell anyone, Lindsey. I'm serious here. It would ruin me." Lindsey put a hand on his shoulders. 

"Most people exaggerate when they say this, but I've never told anyone someone else's secret before. Ever. It's safe with me forever," she whispered. A breeze blew her hair like the magical spirit of truth was affirming her claim, and Patrick shivered with honesty. 

"So... In freshman year, I had a plan. Sorta. I wanted to be a drummer, right? I was in band, kickass friends that just so happened to play good music, all that. Then, because I'm a target for misfortune, I got... A crush. It was new, and I'd had crushed before but this one was..."

"Different," Lindsey intoned. He nodded, staring at the space on stone bench between them. 

"I told the kid about it, and I know. Bad idea, right? Well, it turns out that... _he_ felt the same, kinda. Which was good, but also really, really fucking terrifying. Having a crush for a week and then maybe getting your first boyfriend? No thanks. I freaked out, understandably, and he kept trying to make things better, like 'Oh, Patrick it's okay! It's okay to be gay!' But I knew that I wasn't. And it wasn't denial, it was just... Confusion. I told him I liked girls and he said the word 'bisexual', and I just went with that. I hung around him for a while and it was good, sort of like a boyfriend, only you're not supposed to be afraid of your boyfriend. Not really him so much as the idea of him. Patrick Stump has a boyfriend. That scared me. And I'd say the word bisexual in my head all day, trying to make it feel right, but it just didn't fit. When I realized it wasn't who I was, I flipped and I stopped talking to everyone. He got a boyfriend, a fucking sophomore. My dysphoria and self hatred got worse, but that wasn't his fault. It ruined my life for a little while, until Pete swooped back in and brought me into the light. And then I was totally fucking fine, for two years, procrastinating my sexuality. Until..."

"Until I came up with my stupid doms vs subs idea. Oh my God, this is all my fault. Patrick, I'm so sorry," Lindsey whispered. 

"Don't be. It's time that I looked myself in the eyes anyway. It's just scary. It was hard, watching him move on, even though I was the worst not boyfriend ever. Now he's fine, dating again, it's all good. I'm not hung up on him or anything, it's just the memories of it. The terror that I can still feel. The romantic attraction ended a long time ago, and I'm starting to think that crush in the first place didn't mean much at all. It was just my brains’ way of telling me something. I'm still around that kid day to day, so there's clearly no hard feelings. We're friends. But he was the only one to ever know. And now you're the only one to ever know that I'm..."

"Questioning?" Lindsey asked. Patrick looked up at her. "Sorry, I didn't mean to put words in your mouth, I-"

"No, no. That's good. That's a good title for me. Titles help me keep track of my life. Thank you," he replied quietly. 

"You don't have to box yourself into anything, Patrick."

"I know. But for now, it's easier. As long as I don't get assaulted tomorrow after I have to tell everyone what I prefer, if I were, hypothetically, gay."

"I could fix that. Make it anonymous, like a secret Santa. No one else has to know but me! I think a lot of people would like that besides you," Lindsey suggested. Patrick smiled at her. 

"That sounds good. Thank you, Lindsey. For listening to me. Not judging. Trying to help. It really helped me clear my head. Keep in touch?" he asked. Lindsey smiled. 

"Of course," she grinned. Patrick got up and start slowly walking down the path towards wherever he lived. "Patrick?" Lindsey piped up before he was out of ear shot. He stopped and turned around, so she got up and ran to him. 

"Who was it?" she asked calmly, not expecting an answer. She'd gotten enough. Patrick looked away remorsefully. 

"Maybe next time, okay?" he mumbled. She nodded and patted him on the back. He waved as she walked back down her own path. Maybe next time he'd tell her. 

*** 

Lindsey got home and was readying herself for bed when it hit her. She dropped to the ground dramatically, and lay there, hyperventilating. 

There was only one person in their group that dated a sophomore that first year. Patrick never specified that the person was in their friend group, but if he wasn't, then Patrick had no reason to worry about rumors. The both of them knew that. 

Bert McCracken was a year older than them, and he dated someone in the friend group for a short time in Lindsey’s freshman year. It had been called the homosexual uprising. She was just now starting to get that maybe they weren't referring to Bert with that term. 

"Holy shit." She reached for her phone and dialed Patrick as fast as she could. He picked up quickly, something surprising to Lindsey. 

"Gerard Way is a weird human being, Patrick." Patrick sighed over the phone, defeated. Or, maybe it was acceptance. 

"Yeah, Lindsey. I know."

~Flashback End~

Lindsey thanked God, or whoever else was out there, that she called Patrick that night.


End file.
